When I see things or read things that make me think about taking the next steps with you...
Steps like buying a house, taking trips, proposing, wedding, new cars, pregnancy, children, retirement, grandchildren....
Anything that puts an image like that into my head, makes me smile. And with each one of those smiles comes another level of reassurance. No... reassurance is the wrong word. Smugness. Yeah. I'm SMUG about being with you.
I smirk to myself and think about how much I want to give you and how natural it is to be yours.
Oh we have fights all the time. Although I guess you really wouldn't term them 'fights' in the conventional sense.
You see, this whole thing started as the only avenue I had available to me to be able to send messages to her. That part kept changing. For a while I could e-mali her, but not call, then talk, but not see... There were a whole bunch of circumstances around why we could not see each other, including the fact that we lived on opposite sides of the country. And she reads what is put up here every couple of days, but she never comments on it. Kind of an unwritten law, I guess. Her comments come to me directly over the phone. Although, it's been a while since she has mentioned anything I put up here other than she likes to read it every now and then.
I have since moved. I am close to her now. I am able to see her, although not nearly as much as I would like. I can talk to her on the phone and I still enjoy sending her messages.
So the things I put up here fall under a very specific set of ciriteria. It has to be something I would be comfortable saying in front of her. It has to be something I would feel comfortable saying in front of other people also.
You see, the way I see a great relationship, one with two people who love each other, the fear of saying things like this just isn't there. 'Shouting from the rooftops' so to speak. I have that want, but not that opportunity.
For the next several months, anyway.
So the things I put up here, with the exception of 3 posts, are all directly for her and each contains an underlying message. That message being, "These are the things I want to say to you out in public, and I'm not afraid to do it. The lengthened anonymity and lack of photographs on the site were one of the conditions and circumstances that I abide by until I no longer have to."
And when we are finally able to be together in the way that we both want, anything put up here will drastically change. They will also come much fewer and far between.
Any realism that goes on between she and I, well that doesn't fall under the scope of what I try to communicate to her here. All I want her to see is how completely devoted to her I am, and that I don't care if anyone else sees it. Not to publicly fight with her or detail arguments. Those are things that should be private.
So that means I put things up just about every day. And that won't stop.
Comment written 8 months ago
Steps like buying a house, taking trips, proposing, wedding, new cars, pregnancy, children, retirement, grandchildren....
Anything that puts an image like that into my head, makes me smile. And with each one of those smiles comes another level of reassurance. No... reassurance is the wrong word. Smugness. Yeah. I'm SMUG about being with you.
I smirk to myself and think about how much I want to give you and how natural it is to be yours.
I love you.
Comment written 8 months ago
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Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
Comment written 1 years ago
You see, this whole thing started as the only avenue I had available to me to be able to send messages to her. That part kept changing. For a while I could e-mali her, but not call, then talk, but not see... There were a whole bunch of circumstances around why we could not see each other, including the fact that we lived on opposite sides of the country. And she reads what is put up here every couple of days, but she never comments on it. Kind of an unwritten law, I guess. Her comments come to me directly over the phone. Although, it's been a while since she has mentioned anything I put up here other than she likes to read it every now and then.
I have since moved. I am close to her now. I am able to see her, although not nearly as much as I would like. I can talk to her on the phone and I still enjoy sending her messages.
So the things I put up here fall under a very specific set of ciriteria. It has to be something I would be comfortable saying in front of her. It has to be something I would feel comfortable saying in front of other people also.
You see, the way I see a great relationship, one with two people who love each other, the fear of saying things like this just isn't there. 'Shouting from the rooftops' so to speak. I have that want, but not that opportunity.
For the next several months, anyway.
So the things I put up here, with the exception of 3 posts, are all directly for her and each contains an underlying message. That message being, "These are the things I want to say to you out in public, and I'm not afraid to do it. The lengthened anonymity and lack of photographs on the site were one of the conditions and circumstances that I abide by until I no longer have to."
And when we are finally able to be together in the way that we both want, anything put up here will drastically change. They will also come much fewer and far between.
Any realism that goes on between she and I, well that doesn't fall under the scope of what I try to communicate to her here. All I want her to see is how completely devoted to her I am, and that I don't care if anyone else sees it. Not to publicly fight with her or detail arguments. Those are things that should be private.
So that means I put things up just about every day. And that won't stop.
Comment written 1 years ago